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Thoughts of Percy Shelley were in the forefront. His horrid death. The chilling story of his heart that wouldn't burn.To my extreme discomfort, a new thought entered my mind – the thought that I was being watched. It's the spine-tingling uneasiness one feels when unseen eyes are peering upon you. Despite the warm water, tiny hairs on my body now stood erect. Shutting off the water, I stood naked and dripping wet, listening. I even held my breath, attempting to hear the slightest noise outside my shower. Nothing. But, the feelings remained. Finally, I poked just my head around the curtain. As I somewhat expected, there was nothing to see. Grabbing a towel, I covered myself and stepped outside the shower, ignoring the water dripping onto the floor. After a puddle had formed at my feet, I moved, leaving the bathroom and plodding towards my bedroom. Get a hold of yourself! Deciding I was suffering effects from an overactive imagination, I tried to push all thoughts out of my head.. Loni had said she felt grief when she gazed at the painting, said she couldn't live with the painting because it would make her depressed. I lived with the painting because I lived with my grief, but time passing had taken the edge off my grief, dulled it to disappointment. Could I portray disappointment?I tried; I failed. I didn't truly feel disappointed. I felt adrift, cast loose without an anchor, floating without purpose. I didn't have a clue about how I could create feeling adrift in a painting.Could I paint love?I set the failed painting against the wall. I'd cover it with a fresh coat of white gesso later. Then I put a new canvas on the easel, a large canvas, five-feet wide by seven-feet tall.What color best represents love? What forms combined with what colors and textures could evoke the feeling of love when viewed by an art lover? I'd read somewhere that about 4,000 years ago the Egyptians built healing temples of light. They bathed a patient with specific colors of light.
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